Everyone with Depression have their own way of expressing what it feels like for them. And for me personally Depression is like a bad friend who tells you that you are a bad person who doesn’t deserve to be happy. It’s like a bully that acts like your friend. Basically, it’s my frenemy. I decided to deal with this so called friend because I didn’t want to be alone. Also, it’s the only friend I have that I don’t know how to let go. It’s a toxic, bad friend.
In the end, I treated it like it’s human that needed someone to talk to and I was that person. So I always listened and said that everything will be okay.
Hopefully, everything will work out. If not then pull yourself up and keep going no matter what.
I don’t want to say it but I need to say it. It is part of my life whether I like it or not. Sometimes I feel like it is all there is in my life. And so, I let it wash over me like a wave.
I try to be tough. I try to laugh it off. I try to live my life regardless of me having this thing. I try to push myself. I try to think positive. I try tattoos just for the pain. I feel like, no matter the circumstances, there is no improvement in my life. Am I deluding myself from seeing what it is or is it true?
I keep finding myself running in circles while chasing and biting my own damn tail. I’m bleeding out and I don’t care. I want the blood to be drained from my body till I feel nothing. Just let the light deem enough till you can’t see it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have Clinical Depression.