Everyone with Depression have their own way of expressing what it feels like for them. And for me personally Depression is like a bad friend who tells you that you are a bad person who doesn’t deserve to be happy. It’s like a bully that acts like your friend. Basically, it’s my frenemy. I decided to deal with this so called friend because I didn’t want to be alone. Also, it’s the only friend I have that I don’t know how to let go. It’s a toxic, bad friend.
In the end, I treated it like it’s human that needed someone to talk to and I was that person. So I always listened and said that everything will be okay.
Hopefully, everything will work out. If not then pull yourself up and keep going no matter what.
I thought you were my person
Someone I can talk to about anything at any time
Someone who looks beyond my flaws and see who I really am
Someone I show the best and worse of me
Someone who feels like home
Someone I can be with without shame
Someone who loves me for me
So where are you now??
Oh God! I hope everything will go as planned. If not then I’m hella screwed. I need to remind myself that I deserve a fresh start and live the way I should and no one else’s. Sometimes I think I don’t trust myself enough to do this but I have to keep remind myself to do it for me. I never get a chance to help me when I’m too busy helping other people. I hope my friends would know how much I love them. They always motivated me but I never believed it. Now I need to motivate myself. Come on! I can do this! Yes I can. Yes I can. Yes I can!
Alright. Here we go!
Just remember to just breathe and everything will fall in place.
P.S. I just hope one day he will forgive me. Can’t help but wonder if he will be proud of me if I do this?