Can’t Stop Running

My own shadow is trying to catch me

To make me stop

And beg for mercy

While the demons come out and play

To tear down my heart bit by bit

Then let it live

Just to happen again

What A Bully

I’m not kind to myself. I enjoy being a bully to myself because I think I deserve it. Pain is all I know. Pain is comfort for me. I would rather be with someone who enjoys hurting me than being with someone who has good intentions. My belief is that I deserve nothing but pain and misery.

When I was junior high, I remember that I will torture myself for the rest of my life. I told myself that I deserve it. So I thought why not. Pain is all I know so why not. Fine. I must admit that I have a problem. My addiction with pain can get bad. My mind likes to torture itself no matter how hard I resist. The monster in me don’t want me to be happy. The angel in me is trying to shout but it’s caged, locked up, and cornered. It’s trapped that she surrendered.

The Runner

I always ran

To wherever my heart desire

Just to find peace

But I realized

I’m running away

From myself

I’m running away

From my demons

Then I realized

I’ve forgotten who I am